omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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