The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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