Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
