Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
