I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
