for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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