She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
