Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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