I cockslap morals
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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