where am i from again
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
