its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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