I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
