no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
