He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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