i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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