i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
