You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
