i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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