so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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