Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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