ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize