the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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