Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
