Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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