so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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