Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
