Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
