I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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