just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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