so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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