His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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