They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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