so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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