my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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