Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Of course I have a pirate flag
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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