i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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