You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize