so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
