just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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