yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk