I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.