i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Remember the time you cried about coconuts