Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
