I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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