i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
