I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
