He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
