I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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