Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
