1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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