yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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