I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize