he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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