I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
