is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
