If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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