just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Life is so much better after having sex.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
