I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
