for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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