it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
