ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
