I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
