Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We're too hungover to prance.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
